


Look Both Ways Before You Cross the Street

by Zdenka



Category: Gintama
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-25
Updated: 2009-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-05 06:20:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zdenka/pseuds/Zdenka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kagura and Okita join forces to catch a criminal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Look Both Ways Before You Cross the Street

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spicy_diamond](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicy_diamond/gifts).



> I neither own nor profit from these characters.
> 
> Thanks to Grevling for the beta and to everyone who encouraged me through my first Yuletide.

Gintoki lay sprawled on his back on the couch, one leg crossed over the other, reading _Shounen Jump_. Shinpachi, a kerchief tied over his head, was dusting. And Kagura was “training” Sadaharu, meaning that she was talking to the giant alien dog, and every once in a while he would bark in response. In short, it was a peaceful afternoon at Gintoki’s Odd Jobs.

 

The peace and relative quiet were rudely interrupted by the harsh voice of Otose, their landlady. “Gintoki!”

 

“Just ignore her,” Gintoki said, not bothering to look up from his magazine.

 

“Gintoki!” The voice was more strident this time. “I know you’re in there!” Gintoki, following his own advice, continued turning pages.

 

“Gin-san--” That was the voice of responsibility, otherwise known as Shimura Shinpachi.

 

“Ignore her, I said. If you pay attention to misbehaving children, it only encourages them.”

 

“That’s right!” Kagura burst out. “You have to give them some tough love!”

 

“What do children have to do with the landlady? And anyway, isn’t Kagura closer to being a child than Otose-san? And Gin-san, you’re the one who acts like a child most of all! You can’t just ignore her and say she’ll go away; she wants us to pay the rent, and we don’t have any money!” Once Shinpachi got started on a diatribe, it was hard to stop him. He held up their checkbook to show them, though Gintoki was still buried in the overcoming-obstacles-by-effort and mostly-wholesome-violence of _Shounen Jump_ and Kagura was busily teaching Sadaharu to balance a stack of teacups on his nose. “We’re completely broke!”

 

“Just ignore it and it will go away,” was Gintoki’s drawled advice from the depths of the couch.

 

“How can you say it will go away? Not having money isn’t something that will just go away!”

 

At that moment, two things happened simultaneously: Sadaharu sneezed, making the tower of cups come crashing down, and Otose got tired of waiting and broke down the door.

 

A few minutes later, the three members of Odd Jobs (and one giant white dog) were heading down the street in search of paying work. Logically, they wound up at the pachinko parlor.

 

“It’s very simple to win,” Gintoki said. “You just have to use the right technique, like the Futsu clan in _Stopwatch of Carnage_, who can stop any sword barehanded.” He struck a martial arts pose.

 

There was a loud explosion. The pachinko players and the proprietor yelled in terror and scattered, choking on the smoke.

 

“What was that? Was that the Stopwatch of Carnage?” stuttered Shinpachi.

 

A black-clad figure strode nonchalantly out of the clearing smoke, bazooka on his shoulder. “Hey, it looks like I missed,” said Okita Sougo of the Shinsengumi.

 

“You missed? What the hell were you aiming at?” Unscathed by the blast which had narrowly missed him, the irate vice-commander of the Shinsengumi glared at Okita. “Tch. Now they’ve gotten away.” Hijikata took out the lighter he always carried with him, shaped like a bottle of mayonnaise, and lit a cigarette, while the uniformed troops behind him spread out to search the building.

 

“Who are you looking for?” Shinpachi asked, while Gintoki and Hijikata exchanged friendly insults.

 

“Some very important documents have been stolen from the Shogunate,” Okita answered lazily. “We’re looking for suspicious persons. Come to think of it, you guys are pretty suspicious. Don’t you think so, China girl?”

 

Kagura missed or ignored the implications. “I bet Sadaharu can find them! Can’t you, Sadaharu?” The dog barked in answer. “He’s really smart! And he can balance a ball on his nose like a teal!”

 

“I think you mean a seal,” Shinpachi put in. “Wait, Kagura -- what are you doing?” The girl from the Yato clan had broken the glass and was proudly throwing pachinko balls at her pet. “Ah! Kagura, stop! And I see where this is going. This is going to be another balls joke. Don’t the scriptwriters get tired of that?” he demanded in agitation.

 

Hijikata glanced around at the charred wood and broken glass. “There’s nothing going on here,” he said, exhaling cigarette smoke. “Men, we’re going to search next door.”

 

When the smoke and Shinsengumi had cleared from the room, Kagura was gone too. But Gintoki and Shinpachi had just been cornered by the irate proprietor, who was demanding that _someone_ pay for the damage, and it took them a while to notice.

 

Sadaharu busily sniffed his way down the street, Kagura and Okita following behind. “That’s a strange dog, China girl.”

 

“Sadaharu is strange! He’s the strangest dog ever!” Kagura answered proudly. Her parasol was resting on her shoulder, and as she turned the corner she swung the parasol toward Okita. (By accident? On purpose? Who knows?) Okita dodged nimbly out of the way. Propelled by the Yato girl’s tremendous strength, the parasol hit a lamppost which cracked and toppled into the street. Cars screeched to a halt.

 

“Don’t play in the street, China girl.” Okita raised his bazooka.

 

“I can run and walk in the street if I want to! I’m a streetwalker!”

 

Okita fired. Pedestrians scattered in alarm. “I should arrest you for disrupting the peace.”

 

Kagura whirled and aimed a kick at him. “I can disrupt the peace much more disruptedly than that.” This time it connected; the young man went flying.

 

He picked himself up and wiped a smudge of blood from the corner of his mouth. Okita smiled. That smile was feared both by the anti-Shogunate agitators and his own comrades. “As a member of the Shinsengumi,” he said in a bored tone, “I can’t let you frighten the inhabitants.” He drew his sword.

 

Passing by, a man with long black hair raised his concealing hat by an inch. “I’m not inhabitants; I’m Katsura.” The white penguin-like creature at his side gestured at him. “Yes, Elizabeth, I’m coming.”

 

Sometime later, the street was riddled with cracks and bullet-holes, and several neighboring buildings bore smoking holes from Okita’s bazooka. The pair jumped, danced, and spun with a deadly lack of grace. Landing on a rooftop, Okita slashed downward with his sword at Kagura, who parried with her parasol. The red-haired girl’s sharp-toothed smile was answered by the homicidal gleam in Okita’s eyes. Okita’s muscles strained as Kagura’s greater strength pushed him backwards. He leapt from the roof at the last moment, leaving Kagura to tumble to the ground in a clatter of tiles as the roof collapsed beneath her.

 

“Kagura!” Shinpachi’s voice called. He and Gintoki had finally caught up to their Odd Jobs colleague.

 

Kagura rose from the rubble, a cheerful smile on her face. “Gin-chan! Shinpachi!” She waved to them, bending to pull her parasol out of the rubble. From nearby, Sadaharu barked, as well as he could while gripping a chartreuse, tentacle-headed alien between his teeth.

 

“This is very interesting,” Okita said, holding his drawn sword at the alien’s throat (or what would have been the throat on a human being). The Amanto quailed, his tentacles quivering in terror. “I don’t have it! Don’t hurt me!” 

 

Okita’s sword came down in a flash of light. The Amanto screamed. Okita reached down and plucked a packet with the Shogunate’s hollyhock seal from the Amanto’s kimono, now neatly split by the sword stroke, while the unharmed prisoner gibbered in terror.

 

“Good job, Sadaharu!” Kagura flung her arms around the giant dog’s neck. Sadaharu barked in reply and wagged his tail.

 

“I suppose there’s a reward for finding that?” Gintoki said.

 

“There is,” Okita returned, “but I didn’t see you finding anything.”

 

“Sadaharu has just performed a great service, as a dog of patriotism and loyalty--“

 

Okita cut off Gintoki’s argument. “I’d better take this guy to headquarters.” He seized the chartreuse Amanto by his tentacles and wandered toward Shinsengumi headquarters, dragging the hapless prisoner behind him.

 

And so the Odd Jobs group survived to another day.

**Author's Note:**

> Futsu clan in _Stopwatch of Carnage_: A reference to the Mutsu clan in _Shura no Toki_ (Time of Carnage).
> 
> _Stopwatch of Carnage_: I imagine that Gintoki said _Shura no Tokei_ in the original Japanese. _Tokei_ means "watch" or "clock," but I thought that "stopwatch" would be more entertaining, as well as being a glancing _Utena_ reference.


End file.
